The Broomstick
by paradoxical
Summary: ( Draco, Hermione ) The Gryffindors are taking a crash course in sex education. Their teachers? Draco and Hermione.
1. lesson one

**The Broomstick  
**  
Rating: PG.13-R.18  
Chapters: 1/?  
Summary: The Gryffindors are taking a crash course in sex education. Their teachers? Draco and Hermione.  
  
Etc: Fragmented sentences and silly dialogue are beautiful creations. Except, you know, I _did_ write this last year so I was a bit stupid ... hm.  
  
  
( Lesson # 1: Eavesdropping. Bad. )  
  
  
'Will never get a date for the Yule Ball.' Bah! She's mad, I tell you!  
  
Harry shook his head. It wouldn't have happened if you hadn't asked.  
  
Ron kicked at invisible dust particles as they entered the Gryffindor tower, the portrait of the Fat Lady in her red velvet dress not more than ten feet away.  
  
What was I supposed to do Harry? It was the first thing that popped into my head and you know Trelawney. She'd go into conniptions if she found out I hadn't done my homework again. Ron fumed. The lady's almost worse than Snape when it comes to detentions. Have _you_ ever been to one? Harry, let me tell you, if you have no intentions of looking at unicorns in the same light, then by all means, twist that bat's knickers up her arse.  
  
Harry laughed then and waved his hand.  
  
No thanks. I'll take your word for it.  
  
I've never heard a more intelligent statement.  
  
The two boys muttered the password (chocolate frogs, much to Ron's delight) and the portrait swung open, allowing the two boys entrance. Upon entering the common room, their eyes immediately darted to the group of male Gryffindors kneeling at the girls' staircase. Seamus and Dean were on all fours with Extendable Ears; Neville, on the other hand, was bright red and looking ready to fall dead faint on the crimson carpet.  
  
Harry furrowed his brows.  
  
Ron was the first to say something.  
  
Merlin's Ghost! What are you all up to?  
  
Seamus and Dean simultaneously turned to him and glared, signaling him to quiet up with a finger. They shook their head in disappointment, as if Ron couldn't handle what they were up to, and continued away on their business.  
  
I don't think the girls will appreciate you eavesdropping on their conversations ... Harry said slowly.  
  
Ron suddenly piped up. Besides, girls are complete monsters when they're angry. And let me assure you all that when they find out what you're doing, they'll be _furious_.  
  
Neville nodded in agreement but stuttered, We-well, maybe you wouldn't ... wouldn't be so sai-saintly if ... if ...  
  
And he fell to the floor. Harry gasped in surprise.  
  
Seamus slapped his forehead.  
  
Nevermind Neville, Harry. He's been fainting every five minutes after we, you know, started listening in on Hermione.  
  
If only they had seen Ron blush mad. Whether it was from embarrassment or anger, one couldn't tell - no one had been looking at him.  
  
If Hermione were to find out, which she will, Harry said, matter-of-factly, she would hex you until you couldn't tell the difference from your left foot and your right.  
  
Dean relented, but you wouldn't be saying those things if you listened to _this._ Malfoy came in an hour ago with Hermione since they didn't have class. And I reckon the girls knew _exactly_ what was going on between them because they suddenly up and left, giggling to each other. And, mind you, Malfoy was carrying a very ... interesting object, which they were probably laughing about but I can't be sure.  
  
Neville stood up ...  
  
Seamus nodded. It was a very nice and long broomstick. Draco Malfoy's broomstick ... so you do the math.  
  
... and fell down once more.  
  
Ron and Harry shared a quick glance at each other before scrambling to the extra set of Extendable Ears.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Granger, dressing like one won't kill you.  
  
I absolutely will not! You probably fancied the idea of me in this getup even before today! And it's positively disturbing considering Harry wears the same thing.  
  
She paused.  
  
Do you have any ... _fantasies_ I should know about? Because, you know, we ought to come clean if we're going to start this.  
  
Oh, _God, Granger_. You're insinuating that I have possible desires for Potter? You're raving mad, woman!  
  
They heard a sheepish laugh, presumably from Hermione.  
  
Harry was turning an ickle shade of green.  
  
Well, it isn't entirely impossible. And you know, now that I think about it, two pretty boys going at it-  
  
  
  
I don't see why you're having a tizzy over something so harmless. And please, don't bother telling me that _you_ don't have fantasies about two girls-  
  
That's completely different!  
  
It's a complete double standard, that's what it is!  
  
Malfoy sighed in annoyance.  
  
Do you or do you not want to do this, Granger?  
  
She huffed.   
  
You know, if we're keeping this on a last-name basis, then I really don't want to partake in this little idea of yours, so if you'll excuse-  
  
I don't think so, _Hermione_. He emphasized her name with a languid ease. Now. Undress. And get into this.  
  
Now _you're_ mad! How many times do I have to tell you-  
  
You'll look fine. Sexy, even. So shut up and put them on.  
  
Oh, fine! Just ... just turn around, will you?  
  
Shyness does not become you. Besides, what have you got to hide? I've seen it all be-  
  
_Thwack!_  
  
Dammit, Granger!  
  
You were treading on thin ice! She retorted. And you said you wouldn't ever mention that incident ever again!  
  
A moment's silence.  
  
Well? Are you going to put them on?  
  
Of course I am! ... After I figure out which way's up.  
  
Silence.  
  
Are you going to help me or not?  
  
Well, since you asked _so_ politely ...  
  
Oh, honestly! Men!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ron was almost ghastly pale - well, as pale as one can get with flushed cheeks.  
  
You ... you don't suppose he's making her dress like a ... _you know_.  
  
Harry glared.  
  
If that were the case, then Hermione's basically saying I dress like one too!  
  
Seamus cast a suspicious glance in Harry's direction. The boy in question looked back.  
  
Do you?  
  
Of course not!  
  
Oh, will you two stop bickering? Dean sighed in annoyance. You're sounding like a married couple.  
  
Dean, that was the most disturbing thing if I ever heard any.  
  
He shrugged.  
  
Oh! They're talking again!  
  
Neville, wake up!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
This makes me feel bulky. Hermione sighed. I don't understand why I have to wear this. It's not like this is going to hurt me.  
  
It'll protect you from possible bruising, you silly bint. Now, come sit.  
  
There was a light shuffling and finally it stopped.  
  
This ... this feels awkward.  
  
Well, of course. You haven't tried it before. It's meant to feel weird.  
  
I don't know. I don't fancy the idea of a stick between my legs.  
  
You'll get used to it.  
  
Will I? Pause. Say, will it hurt if I go up or down?  
  
It feels fine. Therapeutic, actually.  
  
I'm sure it does.  
  
This is coming from a mouth that's had lots of experience. I've rode this thing many times in my life, as I'm sure you have witnessed.  
  
And you look good on it too. All sweaty and-  
  
Stop, woman! Unless you want to get a rise out of me.  
  
Pun intended?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Neville was an awkward heap on the floor; Dean was flushing; Seamus was wrapping his robes tightly around his waist; and Ron and Harry were choking.  
  
That's ... that's dirty! Ron exclaimed. Wait until I get my bloody hands on that ferret and I'll squeeze the living breath out of him when I do!  
  
Dean cleared his throat and suddenly snatched the Extendable Ears away.  
  
I think we're done for today. We're in enough trouble as it is.  
  
Hey, give me that! Seamus made an attempt for a pair. Honestly. You wouldn't know entertainment if ti came and knocked your teeth out.  
  
He didn't see pillows coming.


	2. lesson two

**The Broomstick  
**  
Rating: PG.13-R.18  
Chapters: 2/?  
Summary: The Gryffindors are taking a crash course in sex education. Their teachers? Draco and Hermione.  
  
Etc: Sexual innuendoes are fun. :D  
  
  
( Lesson # 2: Treat IT Well. )  
  
  
You don't suppose he's in shock, do you?  
  
Seamus stifled a chuckle as the whole lot of Gryffindor boys looked at the sleeping - orfainted - form of Neville Longbottom. He shook his head and patted the young man on the floor.  
  
Don't blame the poor bloke for not being sexually experienced. Seamus said, dryly. Of course he's in shock.  
  
Harry and Ron goggled at him, wide-eyed, almost shocked themselves that he had the audacity to state such a thing. Dean, on the other hand, remained on the opposite side of the common room, his head buried into numerous pillow to refrain from a pending uproarious laughter. Of course, this sort of scene was to be expected - where Dean and Seamus would know so much more than their saintly Gryffindor familiars. There were rumours about Dean and Seamus' nightly exploits. Mind you, they were not with each other, although many girls in fifth and sixth year suggested otherwise. As a matter of fact, they reassured everyone that - what was that term?- boy-boy love was absolutely adorable' and that Dean and Seamus are two good-looking boys so the idea is far from repulsive'. Being the pranksters that they were - second to the infamous Weasley twins - they entertained the idea all throughout their years of schooling.  
  
What would _you_ know about being sexually experienced? Ron retorted, ignoring the blush that was staining his cheeks. Unless, of course, you - er - well, _you know_-  
  
Seamus shook his head, a wily grin spreading across his face.  
  
My dear, ickle Ronnie, he said, watching Ron squirm, my business is my business only. I assure you that I know what sexual entertainment is and _that_, he emphasized, pointing up the girls' staircase, was very much sexual entertainment. Although, it could have been more entertaining if Malfoy showcased what they were doing to the eager public.  
  
Mainly us, if you're not following. Dean added.  
  
Harry turned another shade of green; Ron blanched; and Neville - well, Neville remained fast asleep, and it would have been no wonder if he intended to stay asleep forever lest he be succumbed to the dirty ways of Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
At dinner that night, Harry and Ron watched Hermione with such intensity that almost made her cringe. She also noticed the way Neville was completely ignoring her, which was odd considering he usually tried to make conversation with her, and Dean and Seamus couldn't stop laughing on the other end of the Gryffindor table.  
  
Are you guys alright? Hermione asked, suspicious. You lot have been acting rather strange this evening.  
  
Dean doubled over in laughter, apparently finding something funny with her remark. In all honesty, there was nothing funny about it but because he knew something she _didn't_ know ... well, it was so much more entertaining and twisted.  
  
Hermione sighed in annoyance and dropped her fork on her plate with a reverberating _clang!_ and shot Harry and Ron a demanding, yet inquisitive, glance.  
  
What are these two wankers possibly laughing about? Honestly!  
  
_She said wanker', _Ron thought, frightfully. He decided to share that bit of information with Harry, who gagged on a piece of pumpkin pie wedged in his throat.  
  
Hermione leaned over and patted him on the back.  
  
Goodness, Harry. Are you feeling okay?  
  
Never better. He wheezed and took deep breaths before casting an icy glare in Ron's direction.  
  
Hermione began, would you two mind telling me what Dean and Seamus find so hilarious that you two can't stop looking at me - which happens to be frighteningly creepy to a fault - and Neville hasn't sparked a conversation with me yet?  
  
Ron muttered, Malfoy's what's frighteningly creepy if you ask me.  
  
She stared at him. I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Besides, he isn't even relevant to this discussion.  
  
Seamus cleared his throat as he scooted closer to his Gryffindor friend. Why should she be out of the loop anyhow, he thought devilishly. She was a Gryffindor, after all. He might as well give in to her fancy and provide her with a few helpful hints.  
  
  
  
  
  
What were you doing this afternoon?  
  
You saw me. I went up with Malfoy, remember? She pointed out, unaware of the now-unconscious Neville and the petrified stares of Harry and Ron.  
  
He nodded. To _talk_, right?  
  
More or less.  
  
More or less. Seamus repeated slyly, Out of _genuine_ curiosity, why did he bring a broomstick with him? Quidditch season doesn't start for another month if I believe.  
  
Hermione's eyes widened horror, to Harry and Ron's dismay, and she flushed a deep shade of red before regaining her composure - and a rather shaky one at that.  
  
Oh. His broomstick. Well, you see, he was teaching me ... she trailed off, wondering if she should continue? How could she? She had built her reputation by involving herself with books and disassociating herself with anything remotely related to flying and brooms. Add that to the fact that she would be quite mortified if they found out she was not only interested in what was considered un-Hermione like' but that she _enjoyed_ it.  
  
Heavens, what was she supposed to say?  
  
Well, I best be going. She said, hurriedly, and ran out of the Great Hall.  
  
Seamus had laughed during Hermione's interlude of conflicting emotions, but immediately stopped along with the other Gryffindor boys when they spotted Malfoy right on her trail.  
  
Ginny, who had a spoon in mid-air, stared at them with her mouth open. She raised a brow in curiosity, eyeing the gaping boys with a mild curiosity.  
  
Hermione's only going to the library ... She said tentatively.  
  
All she received were glares.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Why do you insist on meeting here? She said, her eyes slightly glazed over.  
  
Hermione looked down to the youth of moongold hair whose head was trapped between the crook between her shoulder and chin. There he gave her playful nips and took gentle licks, sucking on skin here and there. This predicament she found herself in w as one that occurred quite often - too often for her liking. In fact, she was beginning to believe that he would do anything just to push her in the darkest corner of the library just to have a good snog. It was a cute gesture but only Merlin knew how very irritating it became when it happened, oh, every half-an-hour or so.  
  
His tongue moved towards her ear, where he caught her lobe between his teeth and nibbled, lightly. She shuddered.  
  
Okay. So maybe it wasn't as irritating.  
  
Lick.  
  
A whimper escaped her lips.  
  
Oh, fine!   
  
Their meetings, these secret trysts - she enjoyed them, _craved_ them. He was her drug and she wanted all of him.  
  
He pulled away and grinned.  
  
Like that?  
  
Hermione nodded, dumbly.  
  
That'll teach you to disobey my orders.  
  
She saw red. What in the world are you talking about? I followed everything you said, you prat!  
  
I suppose, but you agreed to everything with hesitance. And you brought up Harry's name. He shook his head. I'm beginning to fear that you'd rather ride that bloke's broomstick than mine, love.  
  
Hermione scowled and stomped on his foot; he yeowled.  
  
What the hell are you trying to do, woman? Break me? He tended to his foot, bending over to do so.  
  
Ah, you deserved it. She replied, flippantly. On top of that, let me remind you that I have a name. Not woman' and definitely _not_   
  
Draco stood straight and glared her in the eye.  
  
I can call you anything I want.  
  
  
  
  
  
Why, thank you.  
  
  
  
  
  
Oh, I know I am.  
  
She groaned and rolled her eyes, opting to leave the library.  
  
Draco was stunned.  
  
What'd I say? Hey, do you still want to be tutored tonight? I'm free.  
  
A shoe found its way to his face.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ron groaned in mock agony - but whether he was really faking it or not was debatable - as he saw Seamus and Dean holding up several pair of Extendable Ears at the foot of the girls' staircase. Harry shook his head, knowing that - again - the night would only end in more confusion, more horrific nightmares of _broomsticks_ and _Hermione_, and several other things including that pale ferret boy wonder and his best girl friend doing god-knows-what to him. He shuddered.  
  
I think I'm going to be sick. Harry muttered.  
  
What? What's wrong, Harry? Ron inquired, coming to his aid.  
  
He sighed. I was thinking about Draco's broomstick.  
  
Dean and Seamus snickered; Ron gasped; and Neville was nowhere to be seen.  
  
Not like that!  
  
Seamus shook his head. Of course not, Harry, of course not. Now, are you two going to join us on tonight's little eavesdropping spree or are you two going to bed like the cornish pixies that you are?  
  
Not wanting the horrendous title of pixies attached to their name, Harry and Ron scrambled for a pair.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Dammit, Granger! You're not supposed to grab it!  
  
She huffed. Aren't I? Either way, it's just a stick.  
  
Is that all it is to you? A stick? He said, flabbergasted. Unlike you, Granger, I have some prized possessions and this is one prize that I possess.  
  
Hermione sounded thoughtful for a moment before saying, A rather large and long prize. It's probably better than me!  
  
he said slyly, Don't worry, Granger. You look absolutely fetching when you're riding it. Besides, the stick - as you so _wonderfully_ called it - is much more fascinating when you're quivering upon it.  
  
Huh. That would explain why you're riding it so much.  
  
It puts me at ease.  
  
Like Harry?  
  
Potter has no skill whatsoever. He can't ride it like I can. He's not much of a free rider; he does it because he can.  
  
No. He doesn't ride it like you do. Period.  
  
  
  
Silence.  
  
He barked, suddenly. What'd I tell you about bringing up his name?  
  
You didn't seem to object earlier.  
  
Yes, but the topic concerned me.  
  
This arrogance of yours is driving me up the wall.  
  
I know I can drive you up the wall. He said matter-of-factly.  
  
A resonating _slap!_ soon followed. He muttered curses and wonderful expletives that seemed to rival muggles' outbursts, thought Hermione. It was a funny thought but she stifled the grin and kept on the straight face. After all, how was he supposed to know that driving someone up the wall' was a muggle expression.  
  
Of course he'd take it the wrong way.  
  
She just didn't think he'd take it _that_ way.  
  
he started suddenly, when I can I drive you up the wall'?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Dean kneeled down next to Seamus.  
  
Think they died?  
  
His friend disagreed with a shake of his head. They're just in shock.  
  
Lacking in sexual experience, I presume?  
  
Oh, most definitely.  
  
Hm. Question, Seamus. Dean said after a long period of silence.  
  
  
  
What _exactly_ does that phrase mean?  
  
It's a muggle expression, Dean.  
  
  
  
  
  
Care to elaborate?  
  
Seamus sniggered and made himself more comfortable next to the fainted bodies of Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. Then, he began his tale of famous muggle expressions, to which Dean responded with eagerness and an attentive ear.


	3. lesson three

**The Broomstick**  
  
Rating: PG.13-R  
Chapters: 3/?  
Summary: The Gryffindors are taking a crash course in sex education. Their teachers? Draco and Hermione.  
  
Etc: Late update, rating change, short, and more puns galore. Enjoy. :D  
  
  
( Lesson # 3: If All Else Fails, Wank. )  
  
  
Bloody hell. When you finally need Hermione for her knowledge about medicine, she's off shagging that rat-faced bloke from Slytherin! Seamus exclaimed with a sigh.  
  
Dean grunted, finally propping the last of the two Gryffindors (Harry) onto the common room couch.  
  
I doubt medicine will help these two. What do you think about psychological therapy? Dean paused and then added, I don't think Malfoy is rat-faced.  
  
Seamus nodded.  
  
Psychological therapy sounds go- _wait a minute_! Are you mad? Did I hear what I think you just said? Did you _actually_ say that you didn't think Malfoy is rat-faced?  
  
  
  
Then, what do you think of him?  
  
Quite good-looking, really. I don't fancy him if that's what you're afraid of. Gryffindor pride and all that ... but hell, you've got to admit that he isn't _ugly_.  
  
Seamus thought about this for a minute.  
  
You're right, but he is a randy bloke i'nt he? It's a bit unappealing ...  
  
They stared at their feet for minutes afterward, contemplating their aforementioned words - words that would have been likely enough to have them exiled from the Gryffindor house.  
  
I suppose he's attractive in a ferret sort of way ... Seamus started tentatively.  
  
You're just saying that to save your own skin. Dean accused. Why don't you just admit it and say he's handsome?  
  
It's the truth. I think he's kind of ferret-looking.  
  
  
  
Oh, all right! Before I come out with my grand opinions about him, let's double-check if those two are still knocked out.  
  
Nodding in agreement, Seamus and Dean checked the bodies of Harry and Ron, very relieved to find out that they were still faint from shock.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
You're damned near insatiable, Granger.  
  
The blonde Slytherin fell across the witch's bed, his body spread-eagle. His robes had been discarded early in their lesson and somehow during this wonderful session, his tie had come loose and two or some odd buttons popped off. He shielded his eyes from the sunshine that slipped through the open window with a casual throw of his arms. Suddenly, the bed beneath him sunk lower with added weight. He propped himself up on his elbows and turned his head to see a grinning and breathless Hermione beside him. Her hair was tousled, her eyes were alight with charming fire, and gods was she skittish the way she jumped up and down with her knees.  
  
He would have expected that she would be tired by now!  
  
What can I say, she said, I live to learn.  
  
I should say so.  
  
Well? What are you doing, lounging about? she demanded. This was _your_ idea in the first place and I expect that you finish what you've started.  
  
Draco snorted. You weren't so thrilled when I first shared my idea.  
  
That was then, this is now. Hermione replied cheekily. Besides, I didn't comply at first because you wanted me in some outrageous getup, but frankly I find it fascinating!  
  
This coming from a girl who doesn't find any other activity entertaining unless it's books and education.  
  
Hermione sighed and rolled off the bed.  
  
Fine. Since you're being difficult, I'll have to ask Harry for his help. I'm sure he'd be eager and willing to sate my needs.  
  
Hermione, I was just kidding!  
  
He was too late, for the young woman had already slipped out her private dormitory.  
  
_Bloody hellfire_!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Hermione, grinning proudly and humming a blithe tune, walked down the staircase that led to the Common Room. Draco, the poor thing, needed to teach. She supposed teaching was very fulfilling for his sweet tooth - never mind the fact that it wasn't actually something he could eat but rather do. It suited him well, but she supposed that teaching had a dominating effect over people and Draco was a strong, domineering type. She wouldn't have found out this - dare she say it - _adorable_ quirk of his had it not been for their arrangement.  
  
He needed help with Arithmancy, god bless his little soul. Merlin knew he wasn't the only one apt and eager to teaching. Oh, but what would she get in return? She knew that it was a great feat to even _approach_ her, much less ask her, for help but yet again Merlin _knew_ that gloating is bliss. So, much to her surprise, he was actually considering giving _her_ lessons. _Lessons in what?'_ she had asked. _I won't tell you just yet, but you will like it, trust me,'_ he replied. And indeed it was!  
  
She could only smile for so long when she realised her predicament. She had discontinued their lesson - if only indirectly - and had not stated when they would resume said lesson. His teaching methods were bewitching. The way he moved his hands to demonstrate (oh, heaven bless those godly fingers), the way he hitched himself up behind her to help her get more leverage (a sinewy physique was always nice), and the way he wrapped his arms around her body to demonstrate the exact position of which she could gain control was positively exciting. No, no - it was absolutely _glorious_!  
  
So, not only had she walked out on something completely wonderful but she realised, with deep regret, that she was _not_ the only girl in Hogwarts keen to learn from Draco Malfoy. She had seen the way other girls (mostly in their year) gave him silent appraising looks, the way they giggled or gossiped to one another about his recent conquests and whatnot ... it was horrifying! The part where he could choose another girl was horrifying, not how they giggled or gossiped - that was just annoying. In any case, she had buried herself ten feet deep and she wasn't quite sure how to get out.  
  
Sure, like she had so boldly stated to _him_, she could find help in Harry. Harry Potter was her best friend and she knew he would do anything for her because of their sibling-like relationship. Add to that, Harry and Draco shared the same love for broomsticks, if not with more vigour. On occasion, as she would come back from the library, she would find Harry in the Common Room fiddling and caring for his broomstick, stroking the shaft like so and making sure it was sleek and shiny.  
  
Oh, yes.  
  
Harry Potter was truly gifted.  
  
Of course, she was always one for the aggressor.  
  
She just couldn't understand _why_.  
  
Hermione pondered these random, never-ending thoughts until she heard two male voices whispering and saw the faint bodies of her two best friends. She really was going to help them out, try to find out what exactly happened to them when she heard Draco's name being uttered.  
  
Frankly?  
  
It intrigued her.  
  
Being the curious person that she was, Hermione Granger sat down on the last rung and listened.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Dean sputtered, You're bloody in love with him, aren't you?  
  
Seamus snorted.  
  
Oh, please. I wasn't the only one glorifying Draco's looks and build. If memory serves me right, you were talking about his _stamina_. If you ask me, that's worse than the way I was hailing him.  
  
Worse, my arse!  
  
It's true. You're curious of his sexual capabilities; I'm not. That explains a lot, Dean, it really does.  
  
Look, I'm sorry. It's not my fault he's a rather attractive bloke. Hell, he's got girls _and_ boys panting over him.  
  
And you, my friend, Seamus said, are a statistic.  
  
Bullocks! At least I'm not chasing after him like most do.  
  
How can you? How can anybody for that matter? he snorted, He's off shagging Hermione.  
  
Damn it all.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A funny grin spread on her lips.  
  
Shagging.  
  
She giggled. Very un-Hermione-like.  
  
Where would they get such a ridiculous idea?  
  
Heh. Shagging ...  
  
Preposterous!  
  
...  
  
Hermione fainted.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_Thump!_  
  
Seamus and Dean looked at each other and shrugged.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Draco pouted.  
  
The _mudblood_ made him _pout_.  
  
Malfoys _did not_ pout.  
  
But she had left him thoroughly stimulated with her arousing positions on _his_ broomstick. What was he supposed to do? Add fuel to the fire, she looked absolutely fetching when she aimed to please. And aim to please she did ...  
  
... but that was before she left him, well, _not_ relaxed and very much in a state of restlessness.  
  
_Wench_.  
  
Images of Hermione on his stick flooded his mind and, before he could think of unflattering thoughts, his hormones got the better of him and he stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door with a loud _bang!_, and proceeded to wank himself.  
  
Yes.  
  
Life was very good.  
  
And even more better when Hermione Granger was involved.  
  
........  
  
.....  
  
...  
  
Where in the hell _was_ she, anyway?  
  
When he was finished with ... business ... he washed his hands clean and walked out of the bathroom, still a bit put-off with her not being there with him. She was eager to learn, wasn't she? Well, he was willing to teach. After all, it was he who had offered in the first place and look at the state he was in - all because of that insufferable, albeit very sly and wickedly wonderful, muggleborn.  
  
It was then that her words hit him.  
  
Hard.  
  
Not that it hadn't already but it had twice the impact.  
  
_Since you're being difficult, I'll have to ask Harry for his help. I'm sure he'd be eager and willing to sate my needs._'  
  
Blood drained from his face (not that it was there to begin with - ahem) and he fainted.


End file.
